I am always looking for my next blog. As I move through my week, I jot down concepts and themes. I even have strategically placed post-it notes full of unpublished ideas. One reads: “the beauty of post-it notes”.
(I love those little magical neon life savers! Life would be a dark cave of scribbled notes on my hands and tiny “soon to be lost” slips of paper without their beautiful existence.)
But I digress. That is for another blog.
My point is: there is much to prattle on about, but this week I found myself uninspired. So I decided NOT to write this week. But how can this be? I mean you’re reading a blog right now... aren’t you?
I decided to focus on other things. Nothing felt right, why force it? So, I launched iTunes, finished a friend’s resume, dove into Twitter and then a Seth Godin book.
As I listened, designed, read and Tweeted, I became aware of a theme.
Gratitude. Like the steady drumbeat of an advancing ancient army, this theme kept getting closer and closer until I could no longer ignore it.
The happiness that a friend trusted me to design her resume.
The chapter conveying that the best leaders are grateful for their role.
The financial guru’s Tweet about entitlement vs gratitude.
The lyrics of songs about the beauty and bravery in surrendered thanks for blessings.
BAM! It hit me!
I remembered that my 2015 mantra was “The Attitude of Gratitude”. How could I have forgotten?
The plan had been to celebrate every blessing. Take the time to stop and acknowledge the wonder in everyday. The striking palette of sunrises, the joy in a child’s giggle, the generosity of time with family and yes even the bugs that come with the warming days of Spring. Everything.
I had written this mantra on a neon green post-it note, placed it on the edge of a 27” iMac that sat proudly on my ergonomically designed desk overlooking a stunning, tree lined office park.
So, how could I loose sight of it?
That desk was stripped of my personal things in April. Sixteen years packed up into two boxes. One filled with mementos and memories too precious to let go and the other filled with items someone at Goodwill would no doubt love. My “day job” had been outsourced.
At first I celebrated this opportunity. I couldn’t wait to follow a new path, slay new dragons! I had been freed to chart my own course. Sail my own ship. Then it happened. I stop being grateful. Grateful for the challenges of this new opportunity.
I began to focus on the problems: Building a portfolio and website. Opening a new bank account.
Self-employment tax. Affordable health insurance. Cost of equipment and software upgrades.
Oh! and the clients! The clients!!!
Just when I was preparing to raise my white flag in surrender... my 2015 mantra smacked me in the face. Time to refocus.
I'm writing this blog in a coffee shop where the staff welcomes me with genuine smiles on a seven year old MacBook Pro that is still sweetly chugging along. The sky is filled with Bob Ross worthy white clouds while the buzz of activity around here inspires and focuses me.
Properly humbled by weeks of turmoil focus, I pause to be grateful and refocus.
Gratified that I didn’t outsource my dreams today!